5 Often Neglected Ways to Defeat Porn.2

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We begin the hard work of recovery with taking a long and hard look at our sexual sin history.  You do not need to do it all at once.  For me it was 9 hours over a weekend but you could go more slowly and spread it out.

It is hard to force yourself to do this because we live in denial and have constantly told ourselves it is not a big deal and after all I am not hurting anyone.  Actually you are hurting everyone including yourself but that is another email series.

Once you have finished this first step the second one is equally as difficult.  It is time to let some light into the darkness of your secret life.  It is time to do what we are told in James 5:16 …

“Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayerof a righteous man can accomplish much.” 

So the second step is this …

Share this with someone you trust and you know loves you.

I did not share this with my wife.  I had already disclosed to her all she needed to hear.  I told her everything in general terms because she did not want to know the details. So I printed it out and gave it to my counselor.  This step of bringing these things out of darkness and into the light is crucial to taking away the power they have had over you.

What remains in the darkness will only fester and grow like the cancer it is.  Maybe you can share it with your pastor, counselor or someone who will not react in a condemning way.  Someone with the spiritual maturity to handle it.  I have listened to many men share their list with me.  It was painful to them and actually pretty hard on me.  However, everyone of them would tell you it was a critical part of their recovery.

One man shared with me and afterwords we decided that there was a little more he had not disclosed.  So he want home and disclosed it.  Then she felt that she knew the whole truth and it was a positive turning point in their marriage.  They both realized their own brokenness and gave their lives and their marriage to Jesus.

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