I have found that many who struggle to find freedom from their sexual brokenness have a very low opinion of themselves. This is totally understandable because for years, if not decades, they have tried to stop and failed and their conclusion is that they must be failures for life in this area and there is little or no hope for them.
They might even be very successful in life. They may be the CEO of a large corporation, a professional athlete, a movie star or even the President of the United States, but sex has a grip on them that seems to never let go and so they continue to try and live their secret lives.
It is my belief and I have seen it in many people that what you believe about yourself and what you believe about God makes all the difference in your recovery. I read an interesting article in The Huffington Post titled “How Your Beliefs Can Sabotage Your Behavior (And What You Can Do About It)”
He quotes a researcher from Stanford University named Carol Dweck who has done research about “the growth mindset vs the fixed mindset.”
“Here’s the truth: It’s your daily actions that will change what you believe about yourself and the person you become. It’s about setting a schedule, showing up, and sticking to it. It’s about focusing on building the right identity rather than worrying about getting the right result.”
If you begin your recovery with the fixed mindset that you are a sex addict, have always been a sex addict and will always be a sex addict … guess what? The odds of you changing are low. You have a fixed mindset that you cannot win this battle and your history proves it.
Now as believers in God, followers of Christ, and temples of the Spirit we should never have a fixed mindset. After all isn’t God in your life to change your life? Look at what His Word says …
“For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6
“For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.” Ephesus 2:10
“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son.” Romans 8:28-29
Put those three verses together and we learn that God started a work in us that He is going to finish. That right now we are his workmanship and so He is working on us and that work involves conforming us to the image of His Son – aka – making us like Jesus. And remember this is God talking and these are God’s promises. Plus, He promises to finish the work.
My challenge to you is do you believe that? Do you know that God is not finished with you or angry with you because of your sexual failures? The penalty for those sins was placed on Christ on the Cross so they are paid for. Now, begin to BELIEVE that God wants to work in your and change you, but He does not do it alone. We must work at it with Him and in order to be able to work at it with Him we need not only have the “growth mindset.” We need to have the;
Tomorrow we will begin developing our FAITH MINSDET and learn why that is ALL important.