Electrify You Boundaries
When I was living in the mountains of Northern Arizona, I loved to go quail hunting. One thing you quickly learn when approaching a fence is to see if any signs are informing you that the fence is electrified. Now I have climbed over a lot of fences in my day but never an electric one. Unless you can take a running start and leap over it, which is difficult and dangerous when carrying a loaded shotgun, you just leave it alone.
In our battle with sexual brokenness, we have slipped and we have fallen. A fall is if you watch porn or masturbate or both. To keep away from a fall, you put up boundaries or guardrails. For example, if going online when everyone else has gone to bed then the boundaries should be NO getting online for any reason after they have gone to bed. So, if you cross that boundary, then there is a greater chance that you will be overcome by temptation and will go ahead and act out.
Having that boundary is an excellent thing only if crossing that boundary has a consequence that matters to you. If there is no consequence, then you do not have a boundary. You only have a speed bump that is easily crossed. The setting of a consequence MUST go along with setting the boundary because;
A Boundary Without a Consequence is No Boundary At All
What you need to do is to electrify your boundary. To electrify your boundary is to state a consequence for crossing the boundary that will stop you in your tracks. Like I did when I told my leaders that if I have one drink of alcohol I will pay each of them $20, which means that paying the 16 leaders all $20 would cost me $320. I have never had a drink since because I have electrified my boundary.
So, think about the boundary that you have set and what would be a consequence that would stop you from crossing it? One guy I know said if he crosses the boundary he and his wife agreed upon then he would get up early and fix the kids breakfast and pack their lunches for a week. I think that is good. However, to have to do it for the year would be even better.
The other thing about electrifying your boundary is that you must disclose what the consequence will be to your weekly accountability team and if appropriate to your wife. Then by being honest with them, you will be holding your feet to the fire of fulfilling the consequence and therefore actually doing it.
If you cross the boundary anyway and fulfill the consequence then I would say you need a bigger consequence. Make it something that you would hate to do. If I told my leaders that I would pay them each a dollar if I drink that is a little motivating but I would probably rationalize that away, have the drink, and pay them. But not at $20 each. See the point? The consequence must be strong enough to stop you in your tracks as you are being lured into temptation.
If you do this, I would love to hear from you about what boundary you have come up with and what consequence have you determined that will stop you dead in your tracks. Jesus says the same think when he spoke these words;
“If your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. “If your right hand makes you stumble, cut it off and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to go into hell.” Matthew 5:29-30