Probably all of us can think back to a situation or a relationship in where we have been hurt by someone and we do not want to forgive them. Minor things are easily forgiven but some of us have been deeply wounded and even traumatized by the actions of others. I know some men who were sexually abused by a family member and for some of them, it started when they were 4 years old in involved being raped by an adult male in their family.
It is inconceivable to me how anyone could do that, but I know that it happens. This is so traumatic and it must seem impossible for the one abused to even think about forgiving that person. However, forgiveness is something Jesus spoke about on several occasions and His words leave us with no doubt that of our need to forgive.
Remember the parable of the unforgiving servant in Matthew 18. He is forgiven a huge amount of money but then he fails to forgive a friend for a minor amount. So, then he is turned over to the torturers until he pays back his debt in full. Then we read these words;
“My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart.”
Also, in the Lord’s prayer, Jesus tells us to pray these works
“Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who have sinned against us.”
We cherish the forgiveness that God has given to us through the death of Jesus on the Cross. And we are commanded to forgive others as we ourselves have been forgiven. But, and I am struggling to even write this because I know some of you have suffered incredible harm at the hands of others, I know this must seem like an impossible task for some of you.
A lack of forgiveness in our heart creates a fertile soil for the real causes of our sexual sin to take root. We have suffered injustice from others. We have been traumatized by abuse. There may be generational sin passed down to us. People may have spoken curses into our lives by their harsh words. It is a lack of forgiveness on which these root causes stay alive and active in our lives. And the lack of forgiveness creates so much pain that we are driven to use sex as an escape from the pain.
So, how does one forgive what could well be described as an unforgivable action? We will look at that tomorrow. Someone once said that to not forgive someone is like you drinking the rat poison and waiting for the rat to die.
Today, spend some time with Jesus and ask Him to help you forgive others just as He has forgiven you. As He hung on the cross He asked the Father to forgive those who had butchered him and crucified them. That is the example He wants us to follow and that is what He can help you to do.