When Forgiveness Seems Impossible

Is there something in your past that you simply cannot seem to forgive?  I am sure my wife has been there when she learned the truth about my sexual brokenness in 2005. Perhaps someone has done something to you that is horrible and should have never happened and it has deeply wounded you. Deep down there is a resentment and maybe even rage because a spirit of unforgiveness and bitterness burns hot.

We have been talking about some of the root causes that might be driving us to continue to act out sexually.  Watching porn and masturbating or having sex with others can easily become an addiction because it is a drug that can change the way you feel in a matter of minutes and it relieves the stress for a while … but not for long.  Then the feelings of guilt, shame, and fear return and not long after you need another fix.  This is the vicious cycle of addiction.

Sex addiction is the fruit of a deeper root issue in your life and for some that root issue is unforgiveness.  So, here is how the Lord can help you and heal you in this area.

First, you must believe and say to yourself that Jesus can help you to forgive. This is one of the things that the Lord asks us to do that we cannot do without His power and help.  Just like I cannot be free from my sexual addiction without His daily help and the power of the Spirit, so also you cannot forgive someone for what they have done to you apart from His help.

Do you believe that Jesus, by the power of the Spirit dwelling in your body, can enable and empower you to forgive?  He can and He will. We just need to ask Him to give us the forgiveness we cannot manage on our own.  We feel like we cannot forgive and that feeling is correct.  But what if Jesus gives you His forgiveness for you to give to that person? What if Jesus extinguishes that burning fire of unforgiveness and miraculously replaces it with His Forgiving Spirit?

He will do that just like He will replace our weakness against sexual sin with the Power of the Spirit in self-control and help from our community/support team.

Here is how you can make that happen. You must make it an act of your will. You CAN decide that you will forgive them if God will help you do it.  You don’t want to do that.  You have believed the lie that you cannot do that. Which is why you are believing that forgiveness is impossible, but it is not.

It starts with you deciding, by an act of your will, to tell God that you choose to forgive them. You might have to do this multiple times a day in the beginning.  However, you just keep asking Jesus, by the power of the Spirit to give you that forgiveness and it will come.

How do I know that?  Because I know that it is God’s will for us to forgive those who have sinned against us just as God has forgiven us for our sins.  I have asked God and received from God the forgiveness I needed to give someone who stole $21,000 dollars from me.  As God strengthened my ability to forgive I rebuked the lie that I could not forgive him and am now set free from my unforgiveness.

May I suggest a prayer for you?

“Dear Jesus, I have believed a lie that I cannot forgive ______________. However, I know that you want me to forgive them and so I am asking you to please give me the forgiveness I need to give to them so that I can be set free and be healed in this area of my woundedness.

I rebuke the lie that I cannot forgive and I receive from you the forgiveness that I need so that I can forgive and move on.  Amen!”

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