Have you ever said something and once you said it you thought; “That’s stupid!” For me, it is mostly if I say something in the heat of the moment. I am a pretty good thinker, speaker, and writer when I have time to think, but if I am in an argument and speak too quickly it can be a kneejerk reaction. If I am being accused of something I might tell a lie, but if I am feeling intimidated dumb words just come out of my mouth.
The Jews did just that after God miraculously delivered them from slavery in Egypt. He brought the plagues. They were told to go and were given valuables just to get out of town. Then with the Egyptian army in pursuit, they crossed the Red Sea on dry land and watched that army drown.
It has now been 45 days after leaving Egypt and maybe it was sunstroke but the people became stupid and said this;
“Would that we had died by the Lord’s hand in the land of Egypt, when we sat by the pots of meat, when we ate bread to the full; for you have brought us out into this wilderness to kill this whole assembly with hunger.”
If God can do the greater thing of getting His people out of slavery is He not enough to take care of their daily needs? If He has done the greater will He not also do the lesser in caring for His people. Makes sense to us but they were doubting God could take care of them in this desert without food or water.
So, they find water but it is bitter. God says throw in this tree and it becomes sweet. Then He leads them to an oasis where there were 12 springs of water and 70 date palms. But was that enough … no, they grumble some more about the meat they used to eat in Egypt. They long for those good old days where they were slaves, beaten, overworked, and exhausted but man … they had meat to eat.
Do you ever find yourself thinking like that? That despite all that God has done for you it just isn’t enough and so you are a grumbler. God offers to us this life of purity, community, power over sexual sin and the very presence of His Spirit but we long for the meat of sexual sin. God offers to us abundant life being filled with the Spirit and becoming men and women of God but we long for the filth of sex and porn.
That is why I liken our recovery to a journey through the desert. In the desert, we do not have much. We cannot overindulge and satiate our sexual desires because it will mean hurting our loved ones more and ourselves to even a greater degree. We are like the dog who returns to his vomit when his master is offering him a T-Bone steak.
Getting through withdrawal is like being in the desert. There is going to be thirst and hunger, hot days and cold nights. However, if you keep your focus on Jesus and live one day at a time you will begin to appreciate the bare necessities and learn that God is enough.
Try praying this prayer;
“Abba Father, thank you that you have me going through recovery. Thank you that it is difficult and that I need to depend totally on you for my daily bread and spiritual life. Thank you that the Spirit of God dwells in my body and please help me to listen to Him and follow His directions. Help me to stop trying to put all the pieces together myself and allow you to rebuild my life. In the name of Jesus, I pray.”