Why is My Addiction Getting Worse Instead of Better?
Last night on 180 LIVE we heard Nick’s story of recovery. It is so encouraging to hear how the power of the Spirit and Community are helping people find real periods of freedom from sexual sin that has been part of their life for years. You really ought to sit in on that event for two reasons. First, it is a safe way to begin to break out of your isolation. Second, you hear real stories from those who God is beginning to heal.
At the beginning of recovery, it is often the case that we experience an onslaught from our enemy. As sexual sin deepens in your life two things are happening. You want it more frequently and you want more variety. I know of some teenagers and men who are struggling not only daily but multiple times a day. This addiction is consuming their time and energy as shame drags them deeper into isolation.
When they finally wake up and realize that they cannot stop doing it, they freak out and then reach out in whatever way that allows them to keep their addiction a secret. They feel they must remain silent about their sexual sin. If they are young, they feel they absolutely cannot tell their parents. If they are married, they feel they absolutely cannot tell their wife. If they are single, they feel they absolutely cannot tell their friends. So, isolated and alone they remain easy prey for the world, their flesh, and the devil to continue to tear them apart.
The good news is that it is never too late to do a 180 and begin your recovery. The bad news is it is going to take a lot of work and doing something that scares them to death … being honest. There is this love-hate relationship with this sin. They hate the fear, guilt, and shame that pounds on them daily. They believe that telling the truth will damage their relationships which are already being damaged by these secret sins. I know this because I lived this for at least eight years.
If you are in that place right now, one of three things is going to happen.
You will be able to keep this addiction a secret for years if not decades and it will destroy you. You and everyone around you will suffer from this because you will not be able to have an intimate connection with anyone because of this secret you feel you cannot tell. It will erode whatever is good in your life and cause you to live in misery instead of mercy.
Sometime and somehow your secret will be discovered. The mask will be ripped off and the truth will be revealed. This will create a massive train wreck in every relationship that is important to you and like me, you will wish you had the couragetobe honest and to have sought help on your own. Some will try to not tell the whole truth, lying about how bad it is and the infection will remain and continue to become worse.
You find a place where you can be absolutely honest and be surrounded by a community of people who will walk alongside of you and help you make it through the extremely difficult time of getting through withdrawal. You will learn to tell the truth and allow God to be in control of your recovery. You need to be all in and do whatever it takes to find freedom. And you will find it.
However, I want you to understand one thing. Just because you have decided to come clean, tell the truth, and with all your heart want to get better does not mean that it will be easy. In fact many people I work with find that soon after turning around and being honest the battle does not get easier. It actually becomes more difficult and temptation increases and they fall even more.
The real battle is now on. You have been allowing the world, your flesh and the devil to have their way with you. They are fine being your pals and having you walk with them deeper into sexual sin. They are your friends as long as you are doing what they want you to do. However, the moment you turn around, do a 180 and want to head back to God their friendly smiles disappear, and their true demonic faces are revealed, and they will not give you up easily.
This tempts you with the conclusion that nothing is going to work. You will be an addict for life and can never be free from the disease of addiction.
LIE, LIE, LIE!!!
There goes my lie detector again. Far more than they want you to remain in sin, God wants you to walk in holiness. It is in His power and presence we must learn to live. For, greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world.
Hang in there … more on the solution to this tomorrow.