A Positive Motivation is Critical to Your Recovery – blog
People who achieve success in almost any area of life will find at their core a strong motivation that is driving them. Whether it is to help your country win the FIFA World Cup in soccer, become the next President of your country, or achieve the C level in the company in which you work or just being a good dad.
Often that motivation is coming from the desire for personal success and glorification. We want to achieve success so that others will admire us, and we gain personal glorification. People who are driven by only wanting personal success often fail, because at the core is self-centeredness.
However, those driven by the motivation to help others and contribute something of great value to others have a purer motive. All the things that come with the success are secondary to wanting to help others and make the world a better place. Unfortunately, we do not see many examples of this in today’s world where it seems everyone is looking for personal fame and fortune.
Now, when it comes to having success in your recovery I tell people all the time that you need to be doing this for you. You have value. You are a child of God’s. Peter writes in 1 Peter 2:9;
“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.”
The positive motivation we need to have is for us to experience all the goodness of God that He wants us to experience. These things are not some quick exciting evert like seeing porn and having an orgasm. However, for many an addict, this has become the quest on a daily basis. Sure, it gives a cheap and momentary thrill, but it is always followed by guilt, shame, and fear. It is an accomplishment taking very little effort, is always self-centered, and ultimately brings death instead of life.
Something is happening in my life right now that I am going to be able to experience because I have worked hard on my recovery, maintained my sobriety, worked through the issues my sin has caused with my wife and stayed connected to my family. It may not seem like a big deal to you, but it is a huge deal to me. Today, my 5th grandchild is going to be born and I will be welcomed to the celebration.
Right now, my daughter-in-law is in labor and later today I will be holding my new grandson in my arms. These are moments of joy and to be savored. These are the tastings of the goodness of God that comes as a reward for doing the hard work of recovery.
Now, I know that some of you may not be able to experience this because your sin has ended your marriage or the damage of the train wreck is still all scattered on the ground. You may even have been working faithfully on your recovery, but your spouse has chosen divorce instead of reconciliation. Your children may have been turned against you out of the bitterness and pain that has not yet been able to be worked through. That does not mean those good things will not come out of your recovery, because they will happen in different ways and at different times.
You will have the joy of knowing you are doing the right things and progressing in the journey God has for you. There will come more healing and strength. Our God can raise up dry bones and breath into you new life. There can be a sweetness that grows in your heart as your actions turn from selfishly feeding your sexual desires to becoming more like Jesus, experiencing the power of the Spirit in your life, and knowing you have no secrets.
I experienced another sweet moment yesterday that is a result of helping others. One gentleman that I have coached and who is now in one of our Online Support Teams is five months down the road in his recovery. After five months of hard work and being consistent in his battle his wife said to him that she loved him. It might seem like a little thing to you but to him, it was a great moment. When we started together there was a doubt that the marriage would survive and last weekend she said those words that he so longed to hear.
These are just a couple of the good things that God has allowed me to experience in the last 24 hours. There are good things God has for you as well. They will come in time because the wounds that sexual sin causes do not heal quickly. We have to live one day at a time but in the end, I know God has good things for you as you keep walking out your recovery, left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot … one day at a time.