What to Do with the Condemnation of Others – blog
Yesterday we focused on the reality that for all of us who are “in Christ Jesus,” there is NOW no condemnation. Condemnation is the reality that you have already been judged as someone undoubtedly guilty and subject to punishment. We stood in that position before we knew Christ as our Savior, certainly guilty of sin and would be subject to punishment.
However, that punishment has already been placed on Jesus on the cross. The punishment for sin is death, and that death has been fully paid, and that is why there is NOW no condemnation from God toward us.
What do we do now with the condemnation we feel from ourselves, our family, and our friends? When some Christians hear that you have fallen into sexual brokenness or have become a “sex addict” many can be quick to judge you. They might see you as a hypocrite and a liar. They imagine that you are some pervert and paint a dark and evil picture of you in their minds.
Some people will condemn you and cast you out. Your spouse might condemn you, tell you to leave, and even end the marriage in divorce. Your friends evaporate, and you are now the leper in the church and will most likely change churches where you are not known. Those are dark and heavy days where depression and anxiety mess with your head and sometimes you want to curl up and die. I know because I can remember being there and feeling that.
Wow, it makes me sad just writing these words because I lived in that place for months after my confession and resignation. My deeply wounded wife tried her best to be forgiving but was tempted to condemn me, and she had every right to do that. However, I know that in some ways she was feeling condemned by others believing she might have shared in the blame for my failure … which was entirely not true.
I am sorry, but sometimes believers in the church can be so stupid! Not only in thinking that she was to blame, but even worse telling her to get over it and that she needed to be there for me during my recovery. Are you kidding me!!! I have heard of pastors saying to the wife of the fallen man that she needs to be there for him. So, who is going to be there for her?
You don’t run up to a car that has been in a severe head-on crash, with the husband behind the wheel and the wife in the passenger seat, both bloodied and wounded by the accident, and ask her to get out and help her husband. She may be even more hurt than he is. The ambulance does not just take the husband first and tell her to ride along in the back to comfort him. Her injuries may be worse.
How remarkable that those believers who understand that there is now no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus and can practice that toward others who have fallen into sin. We are never told to condemn one another. We are called to “bear one another’s burdens.” We are to see our brothers and sisters who are entangled in sexual sin as being in great need, and we are to love one another as Christ has loved us.
That is one reason I have come to love the ministry of 180 that into which God has called me. I see other fallen Christians as those needing love and compassion. I tell them that we must not play the victim, we must take responsibility for our choices, but nobody can walk out of the swamp under their own power. God calls us to be a community helping one another. You need others to help show you the way to freedom.
Which is why I strongly encourage you, again, to consider becoming part of our Online Support Teams. We are here to help. We are here to help you.