Boundaries and Consequences – The Work of Recovery

A few of you have emailed me some of the boundaries that work for you and the consequences that help you maintain those boundaries.  I would like to hear from more of you which you can do here;

https://180recover.com/consequence-submissions/

There are some historical boundaries that have been set up that were strongly effective because of the grave consequences.  One comes to my mind was the Berlin Wall.  It was built in 1961 it divided East Berlin from West Berlin.  It was extremely effective because the consequence of trying to go over it was to be shot.  Around 200 people were killed trying to escape. Over 100,000 people tried to escape with only about 5,000 making it.

The boundaries we need to set need to be well thought out with strong consequences.  At the end of the day, it needs to be the consequence that stops you from giving in to the temptation you have given in to for years if not decades.  It is because nothing really happened when you acted out secretly.  However, now that others know about your secret sin and are going to ask you if you have fallen it will be the consequence that will actually be your friend.

However, and this should show us how powerful this addiction can be, some people continue to fall even if their spouse has threatened separation and even divorce. Some people even risk losing their job or careers and keep going back to it.

I posted an article on LinkedIn in November of 2016.  The title was …

What do Anthony Weiner, Roger Ailes, and Bill Clinton

all have in common?

Sex scandals rocked their worlds.

Here is info from an article in the Huffington Post in 2012 called the CEO Sex Scandal Hall of Shame. All these men sacrificed their incredibly successful careers to their sexual brokenness. All multimillionaires if not billionaires who could not resist crossing their own boundaries.

  • Jack Welch – CEO of General Electric
  • Brian Dunn – CEO of Best Buy
  • Mark Hurd – CEO of Hewlett-Packard
  • Harry Stonecipher – CEO of Boeing
  • Kenneth Melani – CEO of Highmark, a health insurance company
  • Stephen MacMillan – CEO of Stryker – a medical device manufacturer

So, I implore you, think through what boundary do you need to set so you do not keep falling back into sexual sin.  Then choose a strong enough boundary to keep you from crossing the boundary and doing the action.  If that consequence does not work, then increase it and make it more painful.

Lastly, you need to have a group of people who are holding you accountable to your boundaries and consequences.  You need to meet weekly and be accountable to them.  You also need to be completely honest about how you did over the past week.

If you are in such a group I hope you begin to do this.  If you are not in a group, please contact me.  We have 180 Online Support Teams doing this work together on an ongoing basis.  Stop trying to fight this alone and get around others who can help you.

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