A Thankful Moment in My Life – blogpost

I know that the holidays are tough for some people.  It can be that way for any number of reasons.  There is some bad blood in your family and so when you all get together there is usually an explosion.  For others, they are alone because a spouse has died, or you have lost a family member.  Some of you are divorced because of your addiction and your family has put you into exile and you are not invited.

There was a time when I was in my addiction that I loved Thanksgiving for the food and the family being together.  However, after the meal was consumed, while everyone was sitting around and talking, I would get up and start to do the dishes.  So, I was looking like a servant by doing the dishes, but I really did not want to be a part of the conversation because I was living a life of isolation because of my sexual sin.

About 5 years after my confession to my wife and family I found myself sitting there at the table, after an incredible meal, and just listening and laughing.  All of our 4 kids are really funny, so the conversation usually has us in stitches.  Plus, there are no internal family tensions and we all really like each other.

As I was sitting there listening and laughing it is like the Lord spoke into my mind. He told me to just sit there and see what was happening.  I noticed the expressions on everyone’s faces as they told great stories from our family history.  Like when my son Caleb was about 4 years old and told us all that he had an imaginary friend named Johnnie.  He told us Johnnie liked to play soccer and was a goalie.  When I asked him why Johnnie liked to play goalie, he simply said it was because Johnnie had no arms or legs.

Johnnie seems to always be mentioned when we are gathered together telling family stories.  Another is when Nathan, our oldest, put a soccer ball through one of the windows while Mona and I were away for a trip.  So, Nathan put together a garage sale, sold some of our stuff, and tried to have the window replaced before we got home.  Pretty good thinking for a 16-year-old.

So, when the Lord spoke into my mind, He told me to just sit there and take it all in. To relish that moment with this wonderful family we have been given.  In spite of all my sins and my sexual addiction, I was very privileged to be sitting there with my family. My wife for forgiving me and keeping our marriage intact and our family being able to also forgive me.

Understand that my 8+ years of sexual addiction and the disclosure of it to my family was a serious wound.  However, after 13+ years those wounds have healed even though the scars remain.

No matter where you will be tomorrow please understand that you will not be alone. The Lord is near at all times and His Spirit is dwelling inside of your body.  Reach out to others in some way and try to connect with a loved one.  And if you are with your family set aside your differences and try to find what you can truly be thankful about.

And if you are alone then take some time to sit down and write down a list of things for which you are thankful.  I challenge you to find 50 things for which you can give thanks.  Things about who God is and what God has done in your life.  Things about your family members and what you appreciate about each one of them.

So, whether you are alone tomorrow or being worn out by having a home filled with guests, give thanks and make it your own personal day of Thanksgiving.

 

 

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