The Lie of “One Last Time” – blog
We have all heard this lie … how many times? For me, I would say maybe one hundred times. Every time I wanted to really stop acting out with porn and masturbation, I would hear that thought; “Oh, just go ahead and start anew tomorrow in your vow to purity. Enjoy yourself and start recovery tomorrow and you can really mean it this time.”
How is it that we have come to a place where we can so easily deceive ourselves? We know it will not be one last time because if that were true then the last time, we said one last time it would have been the last time but it wasn’t, because we are on the verge of believing that lie that this next time will be the last time.
We have tried to make the last time the last time for a day or two and then the tension begins to build, and our lusts awaken from the short nap they take after we give them their fix. We have become addicted to this addictive behavior and if you need proof of that what is the longest time you have been able to go without giving in?
For some that is only a matter of hours, some days, some weeks, and for some, it has become once every few months. If it has become an obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). One of the worst cases of this I have seen was a man who could barely go an hour without looking at porn and masturbating. This led even to the point of bleeding.
One thing I do know is that the more often we give in to our lusts the more they want increased frequency and increased intensity. That is because as with any addictive behaviors the law of diminishing returns is that the longer you use whatever you are using the impact of the action decreases over time so that you need more to get the effect you desire.
Let me prove that to you. This is from an article called Pornography addiction: A neuroscience perspective.
“In 2006 world pornography revenue was 97 billion dollars, more than Microsoft, Google, Amazon, eBay, Yahoo, Apple, and Netflix combined.”
That is extremely amazing to me because how much porn is online for free???
People in the millions are getting hooked on the free porn and eventually, it is no longer enough and so they begin to pay for something more intense and exciting. This has resulted in a great variety of porn which includes violence to women in rape, gang rape, and even the horrible issue of child pornography. Plus, with the ease by which virtually anyone at any age who has a smartphone can access hard-core porn, this is going to cause a huge increase in crime against women, men, and even children in the future.
Why do I share this garbage with you? Because you, like I used to, are dismissing acting out under the lie that it will be the last time. As the Lord has been transforming my heart during my own recovery, I am to the place now where I am not attracted to porn, but it disgusts me. The Spirit has re-sensitized and transformed my heart. I desire purity over sexual sin. Sin is no longer my master unless at a point of weakness or certain triggers my lusts seek to take control if I would let them.
However, those times are growing less and less frequent as the Holy Spirit’s gift of self-control grows stronger.
Here is an idea for all of us to cling to as we finish 2018 and begin 2019. Make the last time remain the last time and you maintain a new time of ever-increasing sexual purity. Tell the Spirit it is not abstinence you want but transformation by being filled with and walking in the Spirit.