Ending Your Double Mindedness ~ blog

 In Daily Encouragement

The classic illustration of double-mindedness is the idea that there is a good angel on one shoulder and a bad angel on the other.  There are times when our hearts and minds are driven by good motives in life and other times when we seem being pulled to do evil.

Paul writes about that and gives us biblical insight in Galatians 5:17;

“For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want.” 

There are three entities in this verse.  There is the Flesh.  There is the Spirit. And there is Us.

But notice where the conflict lies.  The conflict is to be between the flesh and the Spirit.  If I do not allow Him to deal with my flesh it will overcome me.

Now, our flesh is something we were born with.  It is a part of us that the bible also calls our sin nature.  Something in us that by its nature is sinful.  We can even see it begin to be manifested in children around the age of 2.  Many of them like to use two words.

  • No” – which indicates self-will that does not do what we are told to do or call it rebelliousness.
  • Mine” – which demonstrates selfishness or self-centeredness.

We do not have to teach our children to say no or mine.  They do it naturally.  What children need to be taught is how to share and how to obey.  Parents that do not do this work in the early years of life will have more difficulties with their kids as they grow up.  Raising a child who does not think the rules apply to them and feel they should get anything they want will make for some very troubling teenage years for the family.

The problem grows more difficult as we grow older and wiser.  We somehow begin to believe that we can have our cake and eat it too.  We can try to live with one foot on the dock and the other on the boat.  We can act nice and seem to be good people but in our secret life, we are falling deeper and deeper into porn or sex addiction.

The discrepancy that develops between what someone appears on the outside and what they are lusting for and desiring on the inside continues to grow. My own life as a pastor was an illustration of that.  To hundreds of people in my church, I was this good man, an effective pastor, a good preacher, and a great family man.

However, the man they could not see was the one on the inside who had gradually become addicted to sex.  On the outside, I was Mr. Nice Guy, the Good Pastor.  On the inside, I was the pathetic creature like Gollum in Lord of the Rings consumed by lust and porn which had become “My Precious.”

My friends, that is no way to live.  It is exhausting and a life filled with self-loathing and hatred.  I could preach on the unconditional love of God on Sunday and surrender myself to my lusts on Monday.  By the grace of God, I reaped what I had been secretly been sowing. My sins did find me out as God intervened, my sexual sin was discovered, and I had to confess everything to my wife of 26 years.

That was 5009 days ago.  My double-mindedness ended with confession, causing a train wreck almost killing my wife and family.  The Lord ripped off my mask and I confessed everything I had done to my wife and some of it to our kids.  Never in my entire life had I experienced such pain nor caused my family to suffer in utter disbelief of the person I really was on the inside. Yet, at the age of 52, I was still saying “No” and “Mine.”

By the Lord’s magnificent grace and the unbelievable love and forgiveness of my wife and kids…we survived.  In about two weeks from now, Mona and I will celebrate 40 years of marriage.  However, understand that there were many dark days of pain, self-loathing, and suffering by all of us.  And by the grace of God, I hope to never be doubleminded again.

How does that happen?

  • It means that every day I must give myself to the Lord offering my body to Him as a living sacrifice as I am commanded to do in Romans 12:1.

  • It means that every day I must ask the Spirit to fill me and empower me to walk in the Spirit as I am commanded to do in Ephesians 5:18 and Galatians 5:16.

  • It means that every day I put on the full armor of God so that I can stand in the strength of His might against demonic forces of evil.

  • It means that I live my life in community with other men who I will hold accountable and who will, in turn, hold me accountable.

It means that I tell the truth.

Yesterday, my family and I had brunch together.  It was a delightful time where I was allowed to still be a part of this family.  Sitting between two of my grandchildren and swapping stories with one another.  Even the act of spreading butter on their pancakes and dribbling syrup on top seemed like an act of worship.

End your madness … become single-minded by the power of the Spirit and living in a community of accountability and support.  Join one of our Online Support Teams and we will help you do it.

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