I know…I know…I know! It is a long and difficult battle when a born-again believer decides enough is enough and wants to escape their addiction to sexual sin. Like a drug addict who wakes up one day, sees all kinds of drug paraphernalia around the room, realizes that they are in a bad place that is destroying their life so also sex addicts have a moment of clarity when they realize that what they thought they had under control was now controlling them.
For many people, myself included, the addiction reaches a point where you find yourself doing things you never believed you would do. We put our lives at risk by perhaps having sexual contact with someone with an STD. We put our marriage at risk by blowing up the vows we made on our wedding day. We put our family at risk by putting everything on the line for just one more orgasm. And sadly, many end up doing something illegal and find themselves in prison.
Actually, if you have become addicted to sex you are in a prison whether or not you have been arrested. We read in Hebrews 12:1-3;
“Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us…”
When we first found porn…or it first found us, we thought it was amazing. What we were looking at created a powerful explosion of drugs in our brains. So much dopamine was pumping it was a wonder it did not begin to leak out of our ears. Our heartbeat accelerated as testosterone kicked life up a notch and our pupils began to dilate from the excitement we were feeling. It was not love at first sight. It was hooked at first bite. And once we added masturbation to climax to the event, we had the thrill of a lifetime…at the age of about 12.
How many years ago was that for you? For me, it was 54 years ago. From the time I first saw porn till the time my recovery began it was 40 years. And when it all came out and I confessed to my wife and family then the real battle began. The hooks satan had in me were not easily removed. It took time and work. So, here are 3 reasons you need to keep fighting your flesh.
# 1 – The wages of sin are still death – In Romans 6:20-23 Paul makes it clear that for any Christian who continues to be enslaved to sin they will not be experiencing the benefits of the Christian life. They will not be experiencing freedom as we should be.
“Therefore, what benefit were you then deriving from the things of which you are now ashamed? For the outcome of those things is death.But now having been freed from sin and enslaved to God, you derive your benefit, resulting in sanctification, and the outcome, eternal life.For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Paul is not talking about physical death. Sin brings with it thoughts and feelings which are more like death than the life God has for us. Shame, guilt, fear, and self-loathing are not intended to be part of the growing Christian life. Christians living addicted to sin are living in a graveyard of remorse instead of experiencing the abundant life Jesus told us about. And we can be experiencing the gift of eternal life and an abundant life Christ has for us right now.
# 2 Recovery is not Perfection but Making Progress – Listen how many years have you worked on growing your addiction? Whether it has been 4 years or 4 decades we have been consistently wiring our brains to long for sex. We have become animals on the hunt who begin to salivate seeing anyone who might be sending out a sexual scent or perchance are exposing sexual to us.
We can be on the hunt all the time. Much of real life is passing us by while we are looking for something sexual to titillate us into a pre-orgasmic state. People are no longer are human beings created in the image of God and worthy of honor and respect. They are pieces of meat to be consumed. Congratulations, you have sacrificed your ability to see people as valuable and made them into a snickers bar for you to unwrap and devour. That is degrading at the least.
This is not going to just go away because you want to stop. This is going to take work…a lot of work. It will require beginning and keeping new habits of spiritual discipline so that the Holy Spirit can begin to continue His work of sanctification within you. So that you, over time, will begin to bear the fruit of the Spirit and have some self-control. Give yourself some grace and don’t try to go from sex addict to saint in one day. Just focus on making progress one day at a time.
# 3 – The End Result is Guaranteed – He who began a good work in you will complete it. The Holy Spirit resides in your body and He is there to change you…transform you. But for that to be happening in the here and now you must surrender yourself and your body to Him on a daily basis. We must ask Him to be filling us and then we must be walking in Him choosing to obey at the point of temptation and taking the escape that He has promised us.
This is what we are all trying to do in the 180 Community. I am trying to encourage you daily in this fight so that you do not give up and keep fighting. This is also why there are Online Support Teams so you can be fighting with a team of others who will stand by your side and help you with weekly accountability and daily support 24/7.