The Biggest Trap Holding You Captive to Lust ~ blog
It is not uncommon for me to receive at least a couple of emails a week from someone who is seeking help from pornography. Inevitably, many of them mention one common denominator. They are almost all alone. For example, this email came to me a while ago.
“I am so ashamed to type this email, but I need help. Very badly. I’ve tried to set goals for myself, but I always keep falling back in. I’ve prayed and prayed but I can’t do it on my own. I’m too ashamed to tell my parents or even my closest friend because I’m scared of what they’ll think of me. I’m a young Christian, a senior in high school, and I’m sick and tired of this addiction I have. I want it to stop. Please help me…”
My heart goes out to this young man and I am so thankful that he typed that email and sent it to me. I know it was painful and took a lot of courage. If there is one word that describes him, and millions of other teenagers, Millennials, and grown men and it is the word ALONE. He is alone and feels trapped in this behavior while shame holds the keys to his jail cell of despair. He feels like he cannot tell his parents. He cannot tell his friends and he is a young Christian.
Probably the best 7 words I have written describes the place this young man is in and it is a place I lived in for years.
A Lone Sheep is a Dead Sheep
When we allow shame to keep us chained to this addictive behavior we will only go further down into despair, anger, and fear. Somewhere along the way, we heard that Christians are supposed to be people who have it all together. It is as if Christ has not only completely paid for all of our sins on the Cross but that now we are suddenly going to be perfect and holy.
That thinking is a load of crap and completely unbiblical (Read Romans 7). Perfection will be given to us the day we arrive in heaven. Until then there is a battle going on in all of us. We face three enemies daily.
- The Flesh that dwells within us in what the Bible calls our Sin Nature.
- The World in which we live that is fallen and filled with temptation and sin.
- Demonic forces of evil on whose turf we exist.
So, every believer you know has an enemy within, an enemy without and we live behind enemy lines.
I am so glad that I go to a church where we do not pretend everything is ok. We welcome broken people because we are all broken people. Last weekend they read one of the testimonies of one of our 180 leaders in all 3 services. After the services in the lobby, I proudly stood there in front of our 6’ high 180 Ministries banner handing out flyers about our Monday night meeting. Very few men had the courage to just walk up and ask for help.
I don’t care if people know I have struggled with porn and sexual sin for most of my life because that is the truth and God has been and is still delivering me from that hell for 14 years, 9 months, and 15 days, but who’s counting. In fact, they even made a video of my story and showed it to the 10,000 people who attend Vineyard Columbus. The shame that I lived in for decades has been replaced by the glory of God and His work in my life one day at a time.
I pray for this young man and the millions of other young, middle-aged, and senior adult men who are still stuck in shame and living the lie that everything is ok. I even have pastors reaching out for help and I especially have a heart for helping pastors struggling with this addictive behavior.
I can tell you from what the bible teaches and what I have experienced that your sins will find you out. We read in Galatians 6:7-8;
“Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.”
Listen, because the need is so great, and yet every person struggling with sexual sin is filled with fear of anyone finding out we have made it as easy as possible for you to get the help you need and be part of a team of other men working on this problem together. We have formed a community of brothers helping one another weekly with accountability by meeting online live streaming as well as daily support from the team every single day by texting and phone calls.
These Online Support Teams are having a tremendous impact on the lives of the men who are in them. We are working through the 180 Recovery Program which is a series of 25 videos of me teaching the 180 Recovery Program. Everyone watches the video of the week, we discuss it so everyone is learning the biblical principles of finding freedom in Christ and community.
I was encouraged that several men have responded to my invitation to visit one of our OSTs and will be sitting in as my guest. I would love for you to do that same. I am planning on starting 7 new OSTs by the end of the year and I will start one with you if you cannot make one of our existing OST as they are now scheduled.
You have so much to gain by giving it a try so please email me for more information.