Denial Opens the Door to a Room Full of Lies ~ blog

 In Daily Encouragement

I think there is a room in my head that I really want to remain locked. Being in that room where it happened is certainly a great song in the musical Hamilton…and the title of what is going to be a huge bestseller.  Both talk about;

The Room Where It Happened 

That room John Bolton refers to is of course is the Oval Office. Built in 1909 the main double pedestal desk was made from oak timbers from the British ship HMS Resolute and was a gift from Queen Victoria to President Rutherford B. Hayes in 1880.

That is the room where so much has happened. One can only imagine the conversations and decisions made in that room. Decisions that have changed the course of our world and like entering into the 2 World Wars. But enough American history and let’s get down to the room where shit happens and that is the one between your ears.

Yesterday I shared with you the dangers of living in denial. Denial happens when one sees the evidence of something and then chooses to not believe the evidence or comes up with a different conclusion. Denials best friend is the Exception Clause.

For example, there tends to be a huge mountain of evidence that smoking is harmful to your health. So, many people do not smoke, like approximately 1 billion people or in 2014 – 20% of the population of the world. It is highly addictive, fills your lungs with stuff like…

  • Nicotine (the addictive drug that produces the effect people are looking for

and one of the harshest chemicals in tobacco smoke)

This is where Denial’s friend the Exception Clause rises up and says; “But that will not harm you. You are special and you will not be harmfully affected by the cyanide, lead, arsenic, and carbon monoxide you are breathing into your lungs.

Denial, exception clauses, rationalizations and lies will seem to be your friends but are liars and will tell you lies to keep you from doing what you know you should actually be doing. Here is some of their best ones and see if you have heard them.

I am not really hurting anyone.

Porn is better than actually being unfaithful to my spouse.

I have tried and I really cannot stop this behavior.

I must be the only one with this problem.

I really can quit if I really wanted to.

Denial is trying to convince you that you do not really have a problem or that this behavior is normal so stop worrying about it.  All the while deeper and deeper into its cesspool you sink. When you first saw porn there was an immediate rush of dopamine in your brain that made you feel good even though somewhere in your conscience an alarm bell was ringing.

However, the power of the forbidden fruit grasps us early in life and we do not have the mental capacities to deal with it. Our frontal lobes are not well enough formed to be able to think rationally about what we are doing, and we are automatically placed in animal instinct mode as early waves of lust begin to develop.

If you want to you can probably get through years of nobody knowing you struggle with porn, lust, and masturbation.  However, the longer you go the deeper you go into your world of selfishness and become addicted to the very behavior you loath and suddenly learn you cannot live without.

All addictions do this.  You are going alone feeling normal then some substance or action suddenly makes you feel really good.  Then it wears off and instead of feeling good when things are normal you compare it to how good you felt under the influence and normal no longer feels good enough.  It may be a very gradual decline, or some get hooked after only one sample.

Eventually, in order to feel normal, you need to be using more often.  The longer you go without porn the worse you feel, and life begins to seem crazy.  You long for release, a fix, something to make you feel good again…so you keep using more frequently and living in your addiction for long periods of time.  You go from consuming your drug of choice to being consumed by your insatiable desires.

Welcome to the world of addiction and just so you know many say that addiction to porn and sex is the most difficult addiction to stop. And do you know why??? Because there is no addictive behavior that releases so powerful a rush with so little effort. Right now, I could literally in 10 seconds be looking at porn. I can look at porn almost anywhere in the world with my smartphone. I can get my rush, have my orgasm and feel much better for a little while at any time, anywhere, and any day.  AND IT IS ALL FREE!!!

I grieve over the destruction that is happening around our world because of porn and sexual addiction. For the suffering of women and children at the hands of sex traffickers and porn makers.  For the wives being wounded, marriages destroyed, and families blown up.

Now, here are some truths.

A Lone Sheep is a Dead Sheep

A Lone Recovery Will Fail Over and Over Again

Recovery is not Perfection but Making Progress

Recovery Never Happens in Isolation but in Community

180 Ministries is a community of Christians seeking to help those addicted to porn and sex and creates teams of people helping one another. It has worked for others and it will work for you.  Email me …


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