Why You Can’t Stop Looking at Porn # 2 ~ blog

Yesterday we learned the first reason why it is so difficult to stop looking at porn. Looking at porn is a highly addictive behavior. It is highly addictive for a couple of reasons. One is that it does an amazing job helping us escape the pain and stress of life. It can immediately cause us to stop thinking about the real or imaginary problems we face.

Physically when being lured away and enticed by temptation our brains are impacted. The frontal lobes, behind our forehead, where we have the ability to think and apply wisdom and knowledge have a dimmer switch and it begins to stop working.

Another part of our brain, the amygdala, where our basic human desires seated lights up and goes on high alert. This is all caused because when we begin to get tempted 5 chemicals begin to be pumped out into our brain that literally causes us to block out almost anything and stay laser-focused on anything sexual.

These 5 chemicals would also be released in our brains if we were to snort cocaine. Dopamine, Testosterone, Oxytocin, Norepinephrine, and Serotonin energize our entire body and certain physical reactions happen almost automatically. We become amazingly focused and energized. Our fears and worries evaporate and our desires for sexual sensations skyrocket. Even the thought of acting out brings sudden excitement and transports us from reality to fantasy land.

Add to those physiological pleasures the anticipation of another orgasm puts blinders on us and we can block out the world and our troubles for a few moments or hours of looking at porn. Therefore, it is an easy conclusion that one of the reasons you cannot stop looking at porn is because you have become physically addicted to the chemicals and the pleasure the behavior has brought you and you feel the need to escape again.

REASON # 2 – YOU REMAIN IN ISOLATION!!

Have you ever noticed that when there are people around you, you do not just start looking at porn on your phone and begin to masturbate?  Such an act would be extremely unusual and would immediately get you into a lot of trouble.  It used to be that if you wanted to see porn you would have to drive to the nearest 7/11, buy a magazine, find a private place and get your sexual fix.

However, now and in the unforeseeable future, you can do that almost anytime and anywhere and all you need is a place where you will not be observed and arrested for indecent exposure.  Porn has become virtually omnipresent with immediate access wherever you can get a signal with your phone. Plus, not just any kind of porn but any specific type of porn you might desire. You are not locked into the Playmate of the month for 30 days. You have an unending supply of playmates of the moment available to whatever your specific desires desire.

Isolation Kills

Or as I am well known for saying;

A Lone Sheep is a Dead Sheep

Now I am in year 16 of my recovery. I work from home every day. Monday – Friday, from 7:30 AM to 4:30 pm, I am alone in my house and on my computer. I have software on all my devices that report to my two accountability partners weekly reports if I am looking at anything that would be classified as “mature.”

At this point in my recovery, I have no desire to look at porn. It is gone. That unfaithful demonic companion of 55 years has left and taken his desires with him. In fact, I began to notice that those desires were tapering off and ended a couple of years ago. The last time I saw a split second of porn while reviewing someone’s weekly report, I felt repulsed by how disgusting it appeared and immediately closed it.

I have gone from “Wow…look what I found!!!” thrill of voyeurism to “Yuck, how disgusting” truth of reality. Is it any wonder why immediately, after sinning in the garden of Eden, Adam and Eve covered themselves with fig leaves and hid from God?

I believe that this change has been the Holy Spirit transforming my sexual desires from a raging forest fire burning up everything in sight to a private flame available whenever my wife and I want to be intimate.

This has been the fruit of self-control that the Spirit has been producing in me. I am now able to control my sexual desires instead of my sexual desires controlling me. And instead of feeling like I must have more frequency and more variety, I am thankful and content with exactly what I now am so blessed to participate in.

Isolation kills. Apart from the power and strength of the Holy Spirit, my community of men in 180 ministries, the 8 Online Support Teams I lead, and the 4 I sit in on each week, I am walking in the light in a strong community with powerful accountability and immediate support.

I am not saying these things to make you jealous. I know your real heart’s desire is to become pure and able to withstand temptation and take the escape the God promises us with each temptation. However, I have learned in my own life and in helping hundreds of other men deal with their sexual brokenness that we all must have a community where we receive biblical teaching, strong accountability, and moment by moment support from others.

We are providing these 14 times a week in our Online Support Teams. I am only leading 8 of them and so am not freed up to begin one with you. Email me and we can set it up.

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