Darkness is a word we find very early in the Bible. In fact, we read this in Genesis 1:2;
“And the earth was a formless and desolate emptiness, and darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the surface of the waters.”
The very next words God spoke was “Let there be light”; and there was light. And so even until today our lives are separated into two kinds of time. Time in the light which we call the day, and time in the dark which we call night. One bleeds into the other so that the change is relatively slow and depending on where you live you can see that there is beauty in that transition as we watch the sunrise and the sunset as it turns from a brilliant white light into a stunning orange.
There are light and darkness in our lives as well. There are times when we are alone and times when we are with others. There are times when people see us and know the truth about us and times when they see our mask and we feel we cannot show them the darkness behind the mask. The darkness is the result of secret sin. And as we allow it to remain hidden that darkness grows and begins to consume the good light that is in us.
In the first 4 Absolute Essentials, I taught you the things we all need to be doing every day if we want to grow in our recovery and begin to experience more freedom from our sexual sin. These four things are prayers we need to pray so that we have surrendered our lives to God every day, are walking filled with the Holy Spirit, and have put on the full armor of God so that we can stand strong in the strength of His mighty power. All good things and all daily things we need to do.
However, when it comes to living out the Christian life the Apostle John writes about light and darkness in 1 John 1:5-7…
“This is the message we have heard from Him and announce to you, that God is Light, and in Him there is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth; but if we walk in the Light as He Himself is in the Light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin.”
The fact that God is light and in Him there is no darkness at all is no surprise. God is pure and absolutely holy we will never find any sin or darkness at all in Him. And as His children we are to be in fellowship with Him, meaning our connection with Him should be strong and healthy. However, if we are walking in darkness, or sinning, then we are not going to be experiencing a healthy relationship with Him. And we will not be experiencing a healthy relationship with each other.
However, notice what John writes next. If we are walking in the Light, as He Himself is in the Light…we have FELLOWSHIP WITH ONE ANOTHER, AND THE BLOOD OF JESUS CLEANSES US FROM ALL SIN!!!
Secret sin in our lives not only damages our fellowship with God but also ruins our fellowship with others. In a marriage, there needs to be no darkness between spouses and between our fellow brothers in Christ. There should be no secret sins…because when we are hiding our sin, we are hurting ourselves and those around us.
When we are walking in the darkness doing things of which we are ashamed, like looking at porn and committing sexual sin, we feel great shame and are afraid someone might find out. Then we have to put on a mask and pretend to others that everything is ok when it is not. A great tension exists between who we really are inside and who we are pretending to be on the outside.
And it is in this state of being deceitful that the darkness within us grows. We are stressed out because we feel we cannot be honest with anyone and our time and the energy spent in more darkness is slowly sapping the strength right out of us.
I know this because I lived this way for at least 8 years. My external façade was being a successful pastor, but it was a lie. I was able to make myself look successful on the outside but on the inside, I was scared to death someone might find out the truth. As time passed my darkness grew deeper and stronger and my life became absolutely miserable. I hated myself and I started hating everything around me. It felt like I was slowly was dying.
God has not designed us to live in darkness or to live in sin. In fact, we cannot “live” in sin. We die in sin. The wages of sin is death. Paul says this in Romans 6…
How can we who died to sin still live in it?
So, what is the answer? How can we begin to make progress in stopping our lusts from ruling our lives and killing us softly with the siren’s song? You must…and I repeat you must and absolutely must end your life of isolation. Stop allowing there to be this darkness ever-increasing in your life and step into the light. We became addicted to sex and porn because it is a highly addictive behavior. We have a chemical addiction between our ears with our drug of choice is free porn, available 24/7.
You will not be able to stop on your own. Every addict thinks they can, but they cannot. They want to avoid the pain and shame of exposing to others how far they have fallen, and their fear of rejection are the chains holding them in their isolated prison.
And this is exactly why 3 years ago we started offering to anyone our Online Support Team ministry. In our OSTs, you will find a small group of other men who are struggling exactly as you struggle. We all understand we are broken. We all know we need help. And we are all there to help one another. We have 15 of these OSTs and there is room for you.
Our OSTs are safe places where you will learn the 180 Recovery Program that I spent 2 years writing and filming. You will find other men eager to help you with weekly accountability and daily support. You will have a team around you who will be there almost instantly if you text the group and tell them you are being tempted.
And slowly, you will begin to learn from your mistakes and this overpowering addiction begins to weaken as the power of the Spirit begins to transform you, and a team of brothers begins to come to your side when you are being tempted.
Email me if you would like to sit in on one of our OSTs to just see what they are like in action and you can do so anonymously if need be.
Stop living in the darkness and begin walking with us…together in the Light and experience the blood of Jesus continuously cleansing you from all your sin.