3 Realities Recovery From Porn is So Difficult ~ blog

Some people like to live in a world of fantasy even when it has no basis in facts. Those of us who have become addicted to porn and sex are experts in creating fantasy in our minds and now can easily find almost any fantasy we want to participate in online. We are fantasy experts whether we are online or not…right? So, how does that happen?

Becoming addicted to sex and porn is easy because it gives us relief from the stress and or pain we are experiencing and can be accessed almost anywhere and at any time and there are no discernable aftereffects that can be noticed by others. Unless you are careless and do not delete your history files or texts and emails that tell the truth to others about what you have been doing.

So, your addiction is discovered. If you are young and it is your parents who find out, they can take some of the steps necessary to help you. However, even if they lock down all your devices, put porn blockers even onto your WIFI, they probably do not know you can access porn through the smart TV or your online gaming connection. Plus, last but not least, they cannot turn off your mind where we have had the capacity to fantasize just using our thoughts and imaginations.

It might be like you being addicted to donuts but there is a Dunkin Donuts next door, a Krispy Kreme factory across the street, and a Tim Hortons franchise in your basement…and all three can instantly deliver to your room at the speed of thought and can materialize immediately when you have the urge for soft, warm, and sweet circles of deliciousness. Plus, all of it is always free.

Eventually, someone finds out you are addicted to donuts/porn and threatens to throw you out of the house, end your marriage, fire you from your job, and you are in danger of losing everything you hold dear and value. Those serious consequences which you have ignored for years have come crashing down and so you are now finally ready to stop…no matter what it takes.

I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that sexual addiction is one of the most difficult addictions to stop because porn has been releasing chemicals in your brain as soon as you even begin to think a thought, see an ad, see your neighbor across the street, a woman at church or the market…and one little hint of a sexual idea sets you off and you are craving for your sex and porn fix. It is a chemical addiction between our ears that is free, almost instant and a very effective way of escaping whatever is stressing you at the moment.

But you are finally in a place where you realize that if you do not stop this porn and masturbation addiction your life is going to change in a very negative way, and you will lose some of the things you love the most about your life.

For example, one of the stupid things one man tried…which their addiction was driving them to try even though it is risking blowing up his family was this dumb idea but seemed like a good one to him in his moments of insanity, was this. He was a very successful businessman who owned his own company and was well respected in his community…thought he would try to create a video of him and his wife having sex using his iPad without his wife’s consent.

He made the video and yet forgot to delete it afterward. Then one day his son was using the iPad and guess what he discovered? An atomic bomb goes off in his family and I get called in to help him with his now disclosed addiction.

So, you are at the place where you really, really, really, need to stop and want to stop. However, no matter how strong your good intentions are this is not an issue that will just go away because you are crying out to God for an instant deliverance…or what I call the Zap-Trap. However, you find it is far more difficult than you ever expected, and you may have lost all hope of ever getting better.

Here are the 3 realities that all of us face which causes our ability to stop using porn feeble at best. We have an internal enemy, an external enemy, and we are living behind enemy lines. And these 3 realities will be with us as long as we are alive in our present body and culture.

The Internal Enemy is our Flesh. The flesh is something we are born with and will have till we die. At its core are selfishness and rebellion. This is why some of the first words your child learns is to say “Mine” and “No!” As we age, we begin to learn how to keep it under control and make good choices but when one becomes addicted to anything this flesh suddenly becomes the Hulk. It becomes stronger the more we feed it. It does not get saved, become nicer or better, and limps off into oblivion as we become stronger believers.

James says…

“But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it has run its course, brings forth death.” James 1:14-15

The reason we want to sin in spite of being a born-again follower of Christ is that our flesh is still in us and is our internal enemy.

It may surprise you to know that the Apostle Paul had the same battle with his flesh…that’s right the Apostle Paul as he is writing Romans 7 says this…

“For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.” Romans 7:18-19

However, God has not left us to continue to lose this battle with our flesh or sin nature. He has given us a resource that far exceeds the power of sin and or our flesh. The solution is not for us to try to defeat our flesh…but to allow Him to do it for us and in us.

This is why the Spirit of Christ has entered your body and resides in you so that He can give you the ability to put to death the deeds of the flesh, being filled or controlled by the Spirit, and find hope and strength in a body of other fellow believers who can give us the accountability and support we all need.

Tomorrow…our external enemy.

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