Wouldn’t it be great if our brains had brakes that we can hit when we are barreling down the road to porn and we could learn to put on the brakes, so we slow down and turn around?
When driving my car on some rare occasions I hear a scraping sound when I put on the brakes. This calls for a brake job so that I have good brakes and can stop when needed.
Almost all vehicles that can go forward also have brakes to stop them.
Did you know that your brain has a braking system as well? We are born with it, and it develops as we grow older. We learn to not touch things that are hot. The brain of a child has little control over their brain brake because they are learning everything they need to learn and much of it happens automatically. Like learning to speak in their native language.
In an article in Scientific American in 2011, we learn that Professor Takao Hensch showed that there is something in our brains called Lynx1. Here is a quote from the article.
“When we are young, we live through a biological “critical period” — a time when there is little braking, and the brain is extraordinarily adaptable. Certain kinds of learning seem to just happen without much special attention or practice.”
As we grow older, we become more set in our ways and the things we learned in our youth are set and it becomes harder to learn new things.
So, what do you think happens when a young boy or girl is exposed to porn while their braking system is still forming? Gradually over time, the brain has learned that there is pleasure down that road releasing chemicals in our brains that are highly effective to cause us to feel good, block out stress, and turn a time of anger, loneliness, and stress into a time of sexual medication.
What do we need to be doing when our brakes are shot when it comes to being tempted, lured away, and enticed by just a glimpse of anything sexual? If we have looked at porn, especially hardcore porn videos…part of us is pushing on the brakes, which does nothing because they are shot, and our sexual desires are putting the pedal to the metal and over the cliff, we drive one more time.
I even received an email this week from a young married man who found himself to be impotent when the time for sexual intimacy was happening with his wife. He said that he got out of bed, went to look at some porn, and rushed back before the erection was gone.
Many younger people who have grown up with hardcore porn experience the same thing. They have trained their brains to become aroused to have solo sex with their computer and have become impotent when the time is right.
They are hanging loose when it is time to reproduce.
(Sorry, I just could not resist that…)
However, I do have good news for everyone whose brakes are shot when it comes to porn.
I have watched porn since I was 12. That was 56 years ago. It destroyed my career as a pastor and nearly destroyed my marriage and family.
Now, in the 17th year of my recovery, my brakes have been restored. God gave me a brake job. It was a long and slow process, but I can honestly say to you that when I begin to see anything sexually alluring or tempting to me, I quickly put on the brakes, do a 180, and get to a place where I am not being tempted.
My sexual experiences are now only with my wife and are wonderful.
Plus, I have so much more time on my hands. I can go out in public and actually see what is going on around me…instead of hunting for someone to lust over. I see people and value them as creations of God instead of someone for me to use and throw away.
Sure, there was a time when I had to fight to get through withdrawal. It took me about 6 months to become clear-headed again and stop those desires for sexual sin. The temptations did not stop but I learned how to handle temptation by doing what the Bible tells us to do. And what would those things be???
First – Flee. We are told to flee youthful temptations. Paul writes this to Timothy in Ephesus.
Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness…
Notice we are not only told to flee our lusts, but we are to take other action…pursue righteousness. Get up, turn off your devices that have gotten control over you. Take action toward doing something that is good for you or even better good for someone else.
Second Find Community. The reason we keep falling back into sexual sin is that out of our shame we live in isolation. We spend more time alone as our addiction grows deeper and wider. We want more frequency and more variety. And the deeper we go the darker our shame grows.
And then how are you going to find the help you need? Is there a place where you can find a team of other men working on this same issue? Yes, there are 14 of them meeting weekly with guys from all over the world where they are getting weekly accountability and daily support from one another.
There is also a program that I have written and produced called the 180 Recovery Program which is biblical and Christ-centered. And we now have the entire program just on audio.
You can purchase either of these.
The videos are $180.00 and the audios are only $50.00.
However, the best thing would be for you to join one of our OST – Online Support Teams and learn this program with a team of other men there to help you.