I hope that you…like me want to have no falls into sexual sin and porn for the year 2022. And if you have not blown it already congratulations you and I are on day 3. I know that if you are serious about learning how to maintain purity and then actually doing the work that it takes it truly is a one-day-at-a-time process. So here are some ideas that have worked for me and many others that I have taught.
First – DO NOT DEMAND PERFECTION!!!
This is such a simple thing that seems right, and we know it seems right…and our spouse may even be demanding it…but that does not make it achievable. Now, don’t get me wrong…it is achievable…but not probable and highly unlikely.
We all know that with God all things are possible, as we read in Matthew 19:26. Jesus said so to His disciples. He had just told them…
“I say to you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God.
When the disciples heard this, they were very astonished and said, “Then who can be saved?” And looking at them, Jesus said, “With people this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
I am sure the camel himself would be frightened with the prospect of him going through the eye of a needle. Perhaps the needles were bigger back then and the eye was maybe a millimeter larger…but you get the point.
However, there is just something about demanding perfection that sets us up for a fall. I mean how many years have you been able to be sexually perfect in your past? Have there been any years in your past after being exposed to porn, sex, and masturbation where you have been able to go without a single sexual thought on which you dwelled?
Since my first exposure at the age of 12, it has been something I am tempted with almost every day. Now the older I have become and the more sobriety I have been able to put together…things have become far easier. However, I doubt there has been a single day where I have not been tempted with sexual thoughts or images or have been tempted and not given in to even a moment or two of fantasy.
So, do yourself a favor and do not demand perfection…because I imagine that on day 3 of 2022 you have already blown it and had at least one lustful thought or fantasy in your mind.
This is why in our 180 Recovery Program we teach…
RECOVERY IS NOT PERFECTION…IT IS MAKING PROGRESS!!!
RECOVERY IS NOT A PROCEDURE…IT IS A PROCESS!!!
A much more reasonable idea would be “Can I make it through today and not dwell on any lustful thoughts or devour a sexually explicit image or video without giving in to my desires? And if a day is too long how about the next hour…or half-hour…or minute? And since we are living in a sex-saturated culture I can guarantee only one thing…
Sometime today you will face sexual temptation.
Second – You will only grow in your recovery when you end your isolation.
I know…believe me, I know that thought shreds you like a paper shredder tears up a Kleenex. We have kept our sexual sin a secret from our spouse and family forever. Ending our life seems easier than ending our isolation…it really isn’t but fear causes us to feel that way so that we remain in isolation while our enemy is devouring us.
You might think you have porn but in reality, porn has you. It has become your master and the desires of your flesh are constantly being stoked and in a sense, it has become your god. Porn and sex have become idols in your life and whatever we worship has powerful control over us and the decisions we make.
I know…believe me, I really know from my own experience of 8+ years of serious porn and sex addiction which I had to keep secret because I was the Senior Pastor of a church. Exposure would be career suicide and so I convinced myself that I was smart enough and knew the Bible well enough that I could end this addiction on my own…I absolutely could not and therefore I did not!!!
So, what if I could give you a plan for how to begin to recover from your sexual brokenness? A plan that is first and foremost biblical and Christ-centered and has been helping those who are addicted to begin to find the freedom they crave. That plan is what we call the 180 Recovery Program and exists in 25 videos and audio recordings of me teaching the men at Vineyard Columbus and we have been using it for the past 5 years.
I have also created the 180 Boot Camp materials. This is seven weeks, 49 days where I teach you how to spend time with God twice a day and learn from the Bible the truths about God, you, and your recovery.
Lastly, we have 14 Online Support Teams where about 200 men receive weekly accountability and daily support as they work through the 180 Recovery Program together.
If you would like to know more about how the 180 Recovery Program videos, the 180 Boot Camp, and or joining one of our Online Support Teams just email me and we WILL make that happen.