We have been talking about WHY we need to recover from our sexual brokenness. We need to do it for ourselves, and we need to do it for those around us whom we love and who want to love us, but they are only seeing our façade and not who we really are. If and when it gets exposed all hell breaks loose…so the sooner you begin working on your recovery the better.
But that is a problem isn’t it because you feel you cannot let anyone see who you really are. We have gone from doing things that were a little naughty to things that are disgusting, repulsive, and even self-destructive. We want to cry out for help but are afraid of what others will think and do if they know the truth. Odds are they are feeling things are not right…and they are suspicious about the wall that seems to be separating the two of you.
Who can live honestly or with being honest? We can go for years even decades moving further from the truth and deeper into deception. We can become desperate, angry, depressed, and filled with self-loathing. But you know this already.
The question now moves from WHY to HOW. I pray that you have learned the WHY and believe it. Instead of deflecting the truth you either learn to embrace it or the world will jam it down your throat and you become damaged for life…but that is not the way it has to be. One can be discovered and admit to everything. Instead of hiding, we might tell partial truths.
For me, the truth vomited out of me on September 9th, 2005. In front of my horrified wife, I barfed all the rotten sinful history out of me and on to everyone in my family. When I was drunk in college sometimes, I found myself kneeling at the porcelain throne continuing to have dry heaves after everything that had gone down had already come up. But I knew that after puking…I would at least feel somewhat better.
So, my question to you is are you ready to do everything you need to do to begin to experience the freedom from sexual sin that comes through the transformation of the Holy Spirit within a community of other strugglers who are willing to help each other?
However, to just learn how to do something is not to accomplish it. In Greek, there are two words for knowledge. “Ginosko” which is knowledge you gain by learning and “Epi-Ginosko” which is the knowledge you gain by learning and doing what you have learned.
I always knew what it meant to hold hands but my knowledge of holding hands skyrocketed when I held the hand of my first girlfriend. Nobody told me there would be bolts of lightning flashing up my arm and hitting my heart with feelings I had never felt before. There was a rush of joy when she clasped my hand giving approval that she wanted to do that also. And I am sure a really goofy-looking smile came across my face. I had just epi-ginoskoed hand-holding with a girl I liked signaling that maybe…just maybe she was feeling the same way.
I do wish there were an easy and short answer to the HOW? There are some who claim that deliverance from demonic harassment is the answer and for some that might be the case in helping but I am not sure it guarantees being healed for life. Even Jesus warned people to be careful after cleansing out one demon who may come back with seven of his friends.
If you are going to fix a problem, you need to know what is causing the problem before you will know how to fix it. A bucket on the floor catching the water leaking from above is a quick fix that does not fix the real problem. And we all…and I mean WE ALL have at least 3 problems that we have had almost for our entire lives. We have two real and biblical enemies and we are behind enemy lines.
First – we all are born with a sinful nature or what the Bible calls “flesh.” Not our skin and muscles. We are all born with it and yet it is not a physical part of our bodies like fingers and toes. It is not a demon but a part of us that at its core is rebellious and selfish. If you doubt me either you have never had a two-year-old child and worked in the children’s department at church.
Some of our darling and precious angel’s first words were NO and MINE. They said it to us because we were about to do something that could harm us. But somewhere along the line, we learned to say it back to them because we want to do it but should not do it. So, we demonstrate our innate ability to express our rebellious nature and it is a two-letter word…NO!!!
In addition, we have something in our flesh that demands that we should always get our way. Another child wants what we have and our first instinct is not to share but keep it for ourselves and scream MIN!!! That is the beginning of developing selfishness. Where did it come from? It is a part of our sinful nature with which we were born. It just takes a couple of years to mature before it begins to express itself.
NO AND MINE is the first evidence of our sinful nature.
Second – we live in a world which is currently the dominion of satan and he has demons, a multitude that were kicked out of heaven with him. And no…that is not a grammatical error to not capitalize the s in satan. I like to do it just to piss him off a little…but I digress.
There are demons that are on this earth. They are evil and only desire to make your life as miserable as possible. If you doubt that just read the Gospels and the Book of Acts and see Jesus interact with them…much to their horrifying demise.
Third…and this is a HUGE part of our problem…we are living behind enemy lines and when one is behind enemy lines, they need to be very careful how they live and the choices they make.
The problem is we have become surrounded by landmines called porn which have the potential to blow you up if stepped on. However, that usually does not happen immediately. It can if you are looking at porn and masturbating and your wife walks into the room. Or the prostitute pulls out her badge and reveals she is really a police officer. But this world is not a safe place for us. WE ARE ALL IN A WAR!!!
So, here are the 3 realities for all of us. We have an enemy within called our flesh. We have an enemy without called demonic powers, and we are living behind enemy lines. And so, to begin doing the HOW of recovery we need to understand these realities, learn the biblical, emotional, spiritual even sometimes psychological ways to deal with them…and learn how to survive behind enemy lines.
My friends your situation is not hopeless. Many men we have worked with have put into practice in their lives the solutions to all three of these issues…and are experiencing so much more freedom than they ever believed they could ever have…and I am one of them.
Over the past 16 years and four months…that’s 5,988 days…I have been fighting this battle. I had a very serious addiction to porn and sex. However, because I wanted to save my marriage and my family I have been in this fight and I have not given up. And the reason I am still here is because God wants us to help you.
No hocus pocus instant quick fix that fails further down the road. But by teaching you the biblical truths about all this and the solutions God has given to us that we MUST take and learn to put into practice daily.
Tomorrow we will begin working on the HOW!