3 Reasons You Can’t Stop Looking at Porn – blog

You want to stop.  No really, I really … really want to stop.  I have made promises.  I have tried fresh starts on the New Year.  I have even gone forward in church gotten down on my knees and begged God to help me stop.

However, like that dog that returns to its vomit, I find myself back online watching porn.  What is the real problem?  Is God deaf to my prayers?  Am I not a Christian?  Is God just tormenting me for my sexual impurity? Will I ever be able to stop because from my past it seems impossible.

Porn addiction is an extremely complex issue and there are no simple answers or cookie cutter solutions.  Most men fall into what I call the Zap Trap.  Praying that God would just heal them and they will be able to stop without having to fight the fight of recovery.  Could God do that?  Well, sure He can do anything.

However, in working with hundreds of men over the past 10 years I have learned that He rarely does an instant healing.  So, let’s look at 3 Main Reasons why it is so hard to stop looking at porn.

REASON # 1 – PORN IS ADDICTIVE!  Apart from the spiritual battle, you are in, by simply being a Christian, you are in a physical battle with a physical addiction.  Literally, you have become a drug addict.  The drugs you are addicted to are those released in your brain when you begin to become sexually aroused.

Those drugs are designed by God and are a wonderful part of His plan for a husband and wife to become bonded as one during times of sexual intimacy.  They all have a distinct purpose and are marvelously effective.  However, your brain does not differentiate between having sex with your wife or having sex with porn.  Same drugs are released and have the same effect.  Pleasure, focus, energy, release, and other things happen which make having an orgasm one of the best things God has given to us.

We like it.  We like it a lot.  So, we want it again and again and with that experience being able to be experienced in 5 minutes in the bathroom with your smartphone we start using it more frequently.  When we get stressed.  When we get angry.  When there are just problems from which we want to escape … we can easily get a fix that does not fix anything.

Dopamine, testosterone, norepinephrine, oxytocin, and serotonin flood our brains and we feel good for a while.  Then the shame and fear return and it is not long before we want another escape.  Christian’s do not like it when I tell them they are drug addicts, but that is the truth.  The drugs are between their ears.  They do not need a pusher.  They are basically free of charge and are extremely effective.  Now, in our culture, we can access whatever things we want to view and get a quick fix within a few seconds.

Also, after using we can walk out wherever we have acted out and seem fine to everybody.  No hangover.  No place to find where you can sober up. No trace of what you have done unless you forget to delete your history.

To break free from this addiction takes a lot of work and most men are not ready to fight that battle.  Especially due to reason number 2.

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