Lie # 3 – God is Disappointed in You ~ blog
This is something that so many people think, feel, and believe when sexual sin has become an addictive behavior in our lives. Some of it stems from the reasoning that we are disappointed in ourselves as well as having other people who are disappointed in our continuing failures.
Have you ever thought about where disappointment comes from? I think it is having unfulfilled expectations. This is something almost all of us can relate to. For example, it is quite normal for a man to come into his marriage with expectations that once they are married their problem of wrestling with sexual temptation will come to an end. They reason that when they are finally married, they will be able to have sex anytime they want it.
This was my expectation when I was soon to be married in June of 1979. However, much of my thinking was coming out of having been exposed to porn at the age of 12 and learning most of what I knew sexually from porn. I figured we would be having sex with much regularity and variety.
Unfortunately, what we imagine will be the case and expect to happen in the area of physical intimacy between a husband and wife is far more complicated than that. This is somewhat due to the differences between men and women when it comes to being physically intimate.
One illustration is that men are like light switches and women are like ovens. We are ready to go at the first thought of sex, but women take time to warm up. For us, it is mostly a physical act but for them, it is more of an emotional event. God has designed women to need to feel safe and secure in the relationship with there being an emotional connection first before they are ready to give themselves sexually to their husband. It is what has and is happening in the relationship that sets the stage for sharing physical intimacy but not so much for the man.
Therefore, many men experience unfulfilled expectations because their expectations are uninformed and therefore when they are not met there is disappointment and conflict can be the result. We can become angry because our expectations are not being fulfilled and we can harm our spouse by making them feel like there is something wrong with them. However, it was our own expectations that were wrong because we did not really know what sexual intimacy within marriage was going to be like and require.
If we had entered marriage fully realizing what true sexual intimacy would be like and would require from us things might have worked out better.
So, here is the deal when it comes to God and unfulfilled expectations. It is impossible for that to be the case with God at any time regarding anything. The Bible teaching us that God knows ALL THINGS. He knows the beginning from the end. He has always known all things. So, if one knows all things then it is impossible to have unfulfilled expectations because He knows exactly what is going to happen before it happens.
A good webpage explaining this can be found on the Blue Letter Bible site here.
When God chose you to be one of His children and adopted you into His family, he knew everything there is to know about you. Every action you would take He knew it before you were even born. Every thought we would ever thing or word we would ever say He knew it completely. Notice what David writes in Psalm 139:1-4;
“You have searched me, Lord,
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you, Lord, know it completely.”
Since God is all-knowing and has always been all-knowing it is impossible for Him to have unfulfilled expectations. Therefore it is impossible for Him to be disappointed.
Now here is the wonderful conclusion we can make based on this Biblical Truth. Our Father has known everything we will ever think, do, and say … and in spite of all of that, He chooses us to be His children anyway.
Unlike two parents who decide to adopt a baby or a child who are hoping for the best and that their new child will turn into a fine young man or woman, God knows exactly what He is getting in adopting us and chooses to adopt us anyway. If fact, we can know that in His very act of choosing us He is choosing us so that He can love us in spite of our sins and that He will place His Spirit inside of us to help make us Christ-like people who follow Him.
So, rebuke the lie that God is now or has ever been disappointed in you. It is just not possible. Instead, this knowledge should truly humble us and give us a heart of thanksgiving that He has brought us into His family and will eventually make us completely perfect in heaven.
Thank you, Father, that you love me unconditionally. That in spite of all the sins I have committed and may commit in the future, Your love for me is eternal and nothing can separate me from the Love of God. Help me to live today filled with Your Spirit and walking in His power so that I do not fulfill the desires of the flesh.