The Journey of Your Lifetime ~ blog

I started the journey of my recovery in the fall of 2005. The life of secret sins I had been living for over 8 years was exposed and I had to deal with the reality that I had become a sex addict. I used sex to escape the stress and pain of my life and the insatiable desires of my flesh led me away from God, my wife, my family, and my ministry.

What began when I first found porn in my dad’s bedroom when I was 12 developed into a pleasurable escape from the issues of a preteen boy’s life. Through my early teens, l learned that no matter how I was feeling, whether good, bad, or indifferent I could escape to fantasy land with a centerfold and for about five minutes I could feel extreme pleasure and a wonderful calm afterward.

A major part of the problem was that in 2005 I was the Senior Pastor of a fairly large church with a great wife and four incredible children. All of that picture-perfect family and career was going to be shattered and I was to be exposed for the phony I was and horribly wound those I truly loved.

Lust is a cancer that will slowly eat you alive and cause everything you hold dear to slowly die. Over the past 14 years, I have met and walked with many men who have lost everything they held dear for what…another orgasm? It sounds pathetic I know but nevertheless it is true and hidden addictions are growing in so many Christian’s lives.

Sex seems to be preeminent because it feels so good, can be experienced almost anytime and anywhere with little or no outward signs of having gotten high. There is no need for a drug dealer or money. A smartphone in a bathroom, and 5 minutes is all an addict needs for another fix that does not fix anything.

I am hoping this series of emails will be helpful to you in your journey. My focus is going to be teaching you what the signs are that you should be seeing in your recovery. There are things we need to know and do for healing to take place. Think of them as signs along the highway to freedom so that you know you are making progress because as I wrote yesterday;

Recovery is Progress not Perfection

and

Recovery is a Process not a Procedure

There is no procedure that will instantly fix an addiction. You might have been looking for one for years thinking the next book, sermon, podcast, or retreat will take the behavioral habit you have been perfecting for decades and simply wipe it away. Deliverance? Hypnosis? Rehab? All things that may or may not help you.  However, my approach is not a modern answer but an ancient and biblical one found in the inspired Scriptures we have from God.

If you are a believer and follower of Jesus, the Christ this is not going to be my advice thought up after years of recovery. It is going to be showing you what God has already told us to do, helping you learn how to do it, and letting the Spirit transform you into a more Christ-like believer. This information I have written and produced and can be found in the 180 Recovery Program videos.

Regardless if you are going to follow the 180 Recovery Program or one of any number of good Christian based plans it will come down to one basic principle.  And that principle is;

Are You Going to Learn from Your Mistakes?

For those who have been born-again into God’s family and are His children, we know one very important thing.  We are going to be perfected. We are going to be perfected forever and live for eternity in heaven with our Savior and Lord.  Paul writes in Philippians 1:6;

“For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.”

Do you believe that? You should because it is true. However, I know that is fine to know and believe that, but how do I get through today without another fall into sexual sin? You begin the process that will bring healing into your life and follow the instructions God gives us in His Word. Boiled down to the very basics this will involve you;

  1. Offering your body to God as a living sacrifice every day. Daily surrendering yourself to Him.

  2. Asking the Holy Spirit to fill you and help you to walk in the Spirit so that you do not fulfill the desires of the flesh.

  3. Putting on the Full-Armor of God daily and standing strong in the strength of His might.

  4. Living out your recovery in a close fellowship or community of other believers helping one another through weekly accountability and daily support.

If you will begin to do these 4 most basic disciplines of the true Christian Life daily and consistently your recovery will begin, and the Spirit of God will begin to transform you in ways that you have never been able to fix yourself.

I know the first 3 are things that you can do and perhaps have even tried to do for years. However, the missing link seems to be # 4.  Because of shame we remain in isolation and will continue to be dying a little more every day.

If you need a safe place where you can tell the truth with no condemnation and find the strength of brothers helping one another contact me and visit one of our Online Support Teams and you will find men bearing one another’s burdens, confessing their sins to one another, praying for one another, and finding true healing through the Spirit and the power of community.

Next – The First Signpost – The Starting Line…

 

 

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