Yesterday I outlined the prayers that I developed in the first year of my recovery. I could see some of you rolling your eyes and thinking, “John I have prayed for God to take this away from my hundreds of times. I have cried out in so many ways and now I am doubting that God even hears my prayers.” Humm, I wonder who might be putting that thought in your brain. Let’s look at how to pray ineffectively and see if any of it sounds familiar.
Praying While Being Double-Minded
“But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord, being a double -minded man, unstable in all his ways.”
Don’t be like Tommy the Two Way Turtle!
Praying while being double minded is not going to get you anywhere. Are you doubleminded about wanting to stop sexual sin? After acting out and especially if you get caught you are very single minded. You feel sorrow, shame, fear and regret. You really want to be done with this and will make all kinds of promises to God and your spouse and/or friends. We are all very single-minded at that point.
But what happens a week or two down the road when the effects of withdrawal begin to grab you and the stress of life increases and you really want to use sex again to get a quick fix? That is where double-mindedness shows up. It is not in the car ride as you are driving away from acting out. It is after a little time passes and you need to use sex again. That is when the real test of single-mindedness comes.
Do you know what helps you at that moment? Can I make a couple of suggestions? (Well, it’s my email so of course I can.)
Reach Up and Reach Out before You Reach In
Reach Up – to God and pray for the Spirit to fill you and enable you to walk in the Spirit so you do not fulfill the desires of the flesh.
Reach Out – to an accountability partner and tell them you are being tempted and could they pray for you or better yet get together with you to talk about it.
Before You – before you move one inch closer to the temptation. Before you get online with your computer or smartphone. Before you call that person or enter that chat room. Before you get in your car to drive to the place you will act out. Before you turn on the movie in the fantasy filled movie room inside your head.
Reach In – before you reach into your pants! Once you make that move there is very little that will stop you unless the prostitute is a policewoman or your wife comes into the room or you remember you are on your work provided smartphone. Or someone flushes the toilet and the water in the shower becomes scalding hot. Sure, something could happen to stop you dead in your tracks but once you have made the decision in your mind that you are going to act out then 99% of the time you will.
How do we deal with this double-mindedness? It is through the discipline of every day working though the prayers for purity. It is the discipline of every day asking the Spirit of God to fill you. It is the discipline of every day putting on the full armor of God.
Change will happen. Healing with comes. Slowly and by remaining in community with you support team.